from · me · to · you

Hey Tanya.

I don't want to bother you more, but this is something that I need to discuss. I know that Reema and Shifali will not take lightly to this, so I'm approaching you first. I realize you may be skeptical as well, which is why I will need your patience.

I am not comfortable going on the retreat, and as a result, I am requesting your blessing if I choose to withdraw my participation. The information that the retreat has to offer will not be something I will allow myself to loose out on; I would personally see to it that I obtain and learn what I need to within the period of that weekend.

Many of my peers have expressed disapproval about the cost of the retreat and such a directed criticism isn't something I have been able to abate. To put it simply: If I go on this retreat, I feel as though I'd be in doing quite the opposite of what I should be doing as Student Concerns Chair.

I want to assure you that this wouldn't be an act against College Council—not by any stretch of the imagination. This is simply an act of personal solidarity with my concerned peers. It's something that I want to do, that I know is right for me to do.

I understand that this will be a sticky issue yet I anticipate that the guilt I'd feel going on the retreat would be crushing. I understand that my peers on CC may be confused, but I'd explain to them after the fact. Moreover, so that there are no doubts: I'd assure you and whoever else that this decision will be between you, I, Reema, and any CC member who must know, for whatever reason. This information will not reach the public in any notorious way.

I again know that this is the difficult route, and I'm sorry to drag you into this, but I already anticipate the Executive Board will be dismissive of my decision. I love my role in Council and I'm requesting help fulfilling my role without compromising my seat.

We can discuss this if need be. Thank you.

—Kyle
 

Something disrupted my car earlier this morning. I don't know if I hit the curb, or if I ran over something large, but the impact was felt.

But shockingly... my car is undented. (Although the tires look like they came out of a boxing match...) This stroke of luck has happened several times now. These things said, I've decided to give my car a name that is fitting:

Fortuna.

And, really, that's the most interesting thing happening in my life.

All my love.

Kyle

___

Dad—
 
The College Council legislature has a monetary policy that guides how they can fund clubs. It isn't binding—we can choose to fund events that break monetary policy, if we believe the event merits it.

So, we have a policy that says: You can't request funding for something you have already paid for. The retroactive funding clause. And that's exactly what the club in front of us was asking. 

The club is the College Republicans and they wanted funding for a 9/11 passive memorial. The request was $175. There was some confusion on their end to boot. There were a lot of doubts about whether or not they could be held to full accountibility for the mistake they made in purchasing their materials without first requesting funding from us. In the end, however, I think people were rather moved by the idea of funding a 9/11 memorial.

The Executive Board where I am a member more or less stated that granting funding is setting a dangerous precedent. I disagreed with them, but as you are probably well aware, disagreeing with your colleagues in front of those you lead can come back to haunt you. So I simply posed a rhetorical question to the Council: Is retroactively funding a memorial service, for 175 dollars, something to be afraid of? This is a question you need to answer. Because, I have a firm belief that you can dig your own grave and lie in it, if you aren't afraid.

And the bill passed, the event was funded.

Sometimes rules suck.

All my love—

Hello!!!

I AM RETURNING THIS LABOR DAY WEEKEND. Dinner? I'm so sorry for the short notice!

My schedule is CRAZY this year. The College Council convenes this evening for the first time this semester, I'm really looking forward to that. 

Being a Resident Assistant (RA) has been rewarding, thus far. Most of my residents are level headed individuals that don't seem too hell-bent on partying and consuming copious amounts of alcohol (or maybe they just do that away from my eyes...) I think that it will be a productive year with them. 

My internship with Dr. Ono and the Office of the Provost—the summer one—has been extended, allowing me to see it till its completion. We will discuss this in person but, so far, I have had mixed feelings about it. I look forward to passing it along to the editors and being... finished.

My class schedule, tentatively, is:
Individual and Society (ie Introduction to Social Psychology)
Art History from PreHistory to Rennaissance
Drawing and Painting 2
Introduction to Fiction Writing
Peer Counseling (the RA class)
...and beginning fencing. My instructor is a 5'5 man with no neck. He's quite the sight, but his personality is like a wild fire. He's cool.

All my love—
Kyle
 

Graphic designers have this word that they often use: "Clean." They often use clean to describe design that is organized well, where the individual visual elements (or at least what is discernible as "individual")  interact minimally on the page, and where the information is prominent and (near) immediately noticeable. Yes: Clean design is essentially minimalism without the low-blow on content.

But the word clean is misleading. I do not believe designers favor "clean" design. What I will admit is that there is a general consensus among the population—a social fact—that the more minimal something is, the more elegant it is and this is "clean." But something can be clean and not minimal. In the jargon of design, one word begets the other and that simply is inefficient language, so we should work to reform our vocabularies.

Technically, all design should be "clean"; there should be no nonsense, no random elements, nothing should be superfluous or unneeded. In the world we live in however, the imperfect world, such design is impossible. So what should perfectly defined "clean" design be? Directed, and simply navigated. A perfect union of type and image (or perfect harmony, if they are one in the same). Since some design is, indeed, an exercise of the eye (I made that one up myself!) design that is straight to the point should be "clean."

But minimal design isn't necessarily "directed and simple navigated." Minimal design is an approach where as few elements are presented as possible to convey a single message. It doesn't need to be direct or simply navigated, just modest. 

Today training began for Residence Life.

I survived.

Therefore: success.

Will I survive tomorrow? Probably. The process? Let's see.

I'm overall very anxious because I want to buy lots of clothing and I don't know why. It's the OCD and I know that changing my clothing all the time makes me feel as though my entire wardrobe is tried and done.

I'm doing what I can to fight it, but it's difficult.

 

Changin' my style.

I just kinda wanna make my own website, to be honest.  

To Dad:

"Hope work is treating you well.

I am now in a period of "quitting smoking." It's tough. There is no physical or even mental dependence. I just really want a cigarette because I'm trudging around asking myself, "Well, whatelse can I be doing right now?" It ceased to become a drug and changed into a hobby; something to keep me busy while waiting to go from one activity to the next. (Or in the case of work: Waiting for one hour to become the next!)

I hope all is well with you. After four years of faithful service, my Cross necklace broke last evening while at a friend's house in Greenville, South Carolina. I believe I first bought that while I was at the Post Mall with you.

It isn't ominous. I mean, I know that next year will be different, perhaps difficult. But if anything, the breakage serves as an affirmation of what I suspect.

All my love--"

Tired and sick of waiting for a response from Person X, I am filling myself with something more than just anger, which didn't do it the first time. What emotion is it? I'll tell you when I know.

I think I'm going to go buy BioShock like... tomorrow. And I plan to go check out American Apparel before the end of the week. Not like I should, or anything. It is after all one big, ugly waste of money for simple t-shirts.

But vertically integrated t-shirts!

Last night Santa and I hosted the Black Student Focus Group. I thought it'd be a small session. In reality, it turned out that just around 20 students attended, and the whole thing lasted for one hour and 33 minutes. It was an INCREDIBLY successful experience and I'm thankful to all the people who cared enough to show and voice their concerns.

One of the things I was slightly not pleased with was a single students who consistently communicated more of his own personal experiences... and subsequently, did not relate them to the task or group at hand. Moreover, I think his comments: "I'm not so sure people want to break out of their individuality" didn't actually fall in line with the goals that we are trying to achieve through this project. Therefore, much of what he said I just wave my hand at. Not dismissively, of course, but in a way that says "Look, that isn't here or there. That's valid, but down the road, not here, not now."

Because we have to integrate further. If it fails, it fails, and we'll have the experience to know that. Right now, we don't. We simply have had an Emory that has continued to segregate itself down traditional lines.

I'm running out of words... gah.

He takes Xanax.

Suddenly, the situation is making more sense.

There's a website called safe2pee.org for Transsexuals who want to find a gender neutral bathroom. Talk about clever!

I'm debating whether or not I should keep to my July 31st deadline for smoking cessation, or, should I declare this my last pack. I work better with dates. So I may stick to that. We'll see.

I designed a poster for my mother's studio the other day. I utilized the fonts Sabon and Clarendon (text and display respectively). I realized how few Serif fonts I have, which is distressing, but it's fine. I can work with limited resources as most designers should learn to do.

I wanted to make her poster very much in the style of Grid without actually gridding it. So far, there's a lost of considered White space. But the poster feels scant. Good use of white space shouldn't feel scant to a designer. It should feel quite... perfect really.

Hmm. I had other things to post... OH!

I got a text message last night! The most amazing text message! ...in a dream. :( I hate my life. (Sometimes.)

I saw Andy Chen's inexhibit. I saw his about me and actually read it, [i]read[/i] it this time and I was in awe to see that he was accepted into [i]both[/i] Yale Art and RISD for graduate studies. It certainly lit a fire in my heart.

I've been working on my race and affirmative action poster. I am not contented with it. It is weak, I feel, because I included a line graph on top which was based off an actual line graph that I read in a book about college access. It shows the SAT score gap among black and white students. In between both lines, I have created another that reads: "Equality." Integrated into the entire poster, I find that it weakens it for reasons I cannot yet know. But without the line graph... I kinda lose my point.

Troubling.

I have resolved to quite smoking by July 31st. I will do this cold turkey. Plan B is the gum. I know that I will be somewhat complacent, but also somewhat distraught. I think I like the opportunities smoking affords me, namely, gazing out into the trees. It's quieting. But I must quit. It's fucking up my immune system and I can't allow that to happen.

The report is nearing a healthy point. Completion of a draft is on the horizon. I'm excited.

Lastly, David and I had a tiff recently. When he neglected to return anything: texts or calls, I was immediately reminded of one other. I felt terrible nagging him, but the memories it evoked (still open wounds!) were strong and they hurt. I just don't need to be ignored again.

Sigh.

I was watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire last evening. Both movies were played in succession on the ABC Family channel. I'm assuming they did this to raise hype over the upcoming Harry Potter and the Half-Blood(ed) Prince movie... whose tickets I have already bought!

I realize that both GoF and PoA were disappointing the second time I watched them. (Third time? Fourth? Fifth?) I think that the screenwriter and director tried to capture something other than the nuanced experience. You cannot simply throw a cast together, add in SFX, and then write in some of the more important scenes... that lacks something.

Literature and cinema will always be siblings at odds, I feel. If one shares their idea with the other, the other is bound to toy around with it until it takes a form that they are satisfied with. Therefore, I don't expect to walk into any Harry Potter movie (least of all, the sixth) and be completely satisfied. But it's painful to admit that.

In other news: I may get a job with Emory Marketing.

In other news: I did something not so good...

In other news: I CAN MAKE COFFEE IN MY APARTMENT NOW!!

I propositioned my father. I said: "I don't fly home from now until Christmas, that saves us approximately 400 bucks on plane tickets. In exchange, will you pay for my parking pass?"

He said no deal. In response, perhaps in my own form of silent protest, I will not fly home for Thanksgiving break. I have already spent a birthday away from the family, therefore, I do not see how Thanksgiving spent away from family will be any more difficult. While I may get lonely, while I may starve that day... I'm broke, and I can't afford a parking pass. I do not want to hold it over my parent's head, but we've already argued about so much and my continued defeats are costing me big bucks. I'm angry at them. And I want them to feel it too.

Unfortunately, if someone is going to suffer, it'll be my mother, but she supported my father's too-late-paternalistic attempt to buy me a "secure" car as opposed to an "affordable" car. Do I owe her much else?

Hell, if you want to pay for an over-priced plane ticket as opposed to an over-priced parking pass, that's just a matter of eggs or egg-whites. So be it.

In other news: The final report has a number! The number is 15,000 words. That's NOTHING. That's crap. That's this blog. What I originally thought was going to be a GARGANTUAN task of extrapolating data that isn't quite... there... has become the reverse. Now, I'll be editing out student and administrator voices over a whole spectrum of issues. We may only be able to hone in holistically on big issues, leaving the last few sentences of each paragraph to other pertinent issues on campus. It's nice to now that the goal line is so much closer, but a lot will be lost in the chaos. I have confidence though that Peter and I will be able to get into the report what will create the greatest change. I can only hope that efforts to assess the undergraduate experience in the future pick up successfully where we left off.

In other news... Brandon and I are planning to see HP6 when it opens in theatres next week. I may, however, venture out to see Bruno sooner. I'm very excited to see that movie.

IN OTHER NEWS: On the to-buy list is:
Fruit.
Pants that aren't jeans.
Conditioner.
Bioshock (for PS3).
Some books on Higher Ed.

I started smoking again. Hopefully, this will be my last.

Last Tuesday, I very stupidly FORGOT—like a stoner's forget—about two very important meetings. First was the PresComm for LGBT issues... the orientation. Second was the Student Panel for admitted students. Mind you, it was a Tuesday and Tuesday's have been my busiest day this past semester, but that's no excuse, especially because the former event was written into my calendar for a month or so.

This past week has been spent chained to a computer, surrounded by books. Fortunately, I have been making strides with my papers; I owe it to selecting great topics. I've been ahead of the game, up until now, where's it's a deadlocked race and if I hesitate for a second (ie, right now) I will fall behind.

Organizations & Society Final has been rescheduled for tomorrow. I feel guilty considering I am probably NOT leaving this Friday, as originally planned, but I just haven't been able to finish all the work.

This Saturday though, I'm more or less done. It's more or less over.

Currently, Reema and Nik are facing off in the run-offs for CC Pres.

If Reema wins, I think i'm 90% in. If Nik wins, I cannot fathom my chances for grabbing an executive position.

We'll have to wait and see.

From a sociological standpoint, it's interesting though. Elizabeth is helping Reema, and eagerly so. She made a point about how she didn't want to lose the "three years" of progress she made helping to shape CC to what it is today. She's trying her hardest to put CC into capable handles, to reproduce the CC that she has helped to build and she loves dear.

And I can't exactly blame her either.

My schedule.

Just so that I can say I've given an update on this, I'm currently 2 for 6 on my schedule for next year. I managed to grab Geology with Lab (Earth Science Rd. 2!!!!!) and Drawing II. I'm a sure-in for Creative Writing; I'm listed as taking the class (but I still need the permission number).

Long story short, what still eludes me is Swimming and Societies and Culture. I plan to get both. I really need Culture though otherwise, I'm going to have to settle for some shitty SOC class I don't wanna take.

That's saddening...

I'm exhausted.

So Valkyria Chronicles is one of the better things that happened to me for the year 2008.

The game is a strategy-RPG-pseudo shooter and that is part of its charm. Your militia has access to five different character "job"-types: scout (balanced yet highly reliable), stormtrooper (carries the automatic), lancer (fights tanks), engineers (heals everyone), and sniper (no explanation necessary). Oh and you have tanks too.

My biggest gripe with the classes are that they weren't balanced well. Every character has a limit to how much they can move from a Point A to a Point B in one turn. You have a gauge, when you walk, that gauge depletes. When that gauge is empty you're stuck where you are. Snipers have the smallest gauge, followed by STs and Lancers, then Engineers, and finally Scouts.

It's incredibly annoying because MOVING your camp becomes a huge hassle. Having a ST or a Lancer cover a Scout's ground in a single turn isn't possible. If I move my Scout from point A to point B utilizing all my walking gauge, it will take the Lancer/ST three turns to get there. What were they thinking?

I UNDERSTAND that you can't just give the most powerful classes the greatest mobility. BUT, the current system is flawed because the Scouts can handle pretty well themselves. Therefore, at that point, you're asking yourself "Why do I have STs to begin with?" (Lancers can more easily be justified, but they are still a pain in the backside to mobilize).

There's a time and place for everyone in this game but the scouts shine through the most. It's frustrating because I've also been about having a time and place for EVERY character but it just isn't ideal in VC.

Still, I love it.